Time Flies....

Suffice it to say the summer flew by very quickly while we are in "hurry up and wait" mode.
September brought and end to the summer rush and a new number in our waiting family line:

we are in the "teens"!

Wow!

That hit home with the realization this could all be happening sooner rather than later. The internal struggle hasn't changed at all as we wait for our monthly update- patience and excitement and wondering and waiting.

We are still waiting for our referral- to receive a picture and a biography and news that our son is waiting for us. Crazy! We are affiliated with Children of All Nations (CAN) adoption agency out of Texas. Their 'sister' agency that has in-country contact in Ethiopia is West Sands. Recently the staff from West Sands took a trip to Ethiopia and informed the families in the program that they are in need of medical supplies. Right now it's the rainy season in Ethiopia- and the constant moisture and temperature fluctuations can get the babies in the orphanage sick with respiratory issues (much like we do in the fall here in the USA). The e-mail from the West Sands staff spoke of the great care given by the nurses, but also of some "needs"- simple things like diaper rash cream, scrubs for the staff, mosquito nets for the beds- that would lessen the burden on the children and staff. As a nurse I know what it means to have every supply you need at your finger tips. I can't imagine working day to day needing simple supplies, which is why I have started gathering some of the 'needs' to be delivered by a traveling family. If anyone who is reading this would like to donate scrubs, diaper rash cream, mosquito nets or other medical supplies, just e-mail me at sillyhille @ gmail and I will be happy to point you in the direction of making a donation too.
One thing that really touches me is the possibility that my son's heart beats on this very same planet as mine right now. Waiting family number eighteen- and as we wait for our monthly update filling our days with school and work, God's hand is moving across the globe in ways we won't ever fully comprehend. It is highly likely that my son has been conceived-  I often wonder: has he been born? Is he one of the babies being rocked by the nurses who are asking for supplies to be donated? It can sometimes be frustrating to be here waiting and wondering, hoping for a monthly update that has us closer and closer to seeing his face, but when I really let myself think about the process of adoption that has led us here- and the path that will lead us home, I don't have anxiety at all about it- I feel nothing but peace and happiness.
And I think that's the way it should be.

Ethiopia On My Mind

We got our January update this week, and we are still several referrals away from the top of the list.

I often get asked, "How do you handle the waiting? And why do you seem so calm when you talk about this adoption?"

I get overwhelmed with thoughts & emotion when I think about our adoption and everything that goes into our son becoming a part of our family. There is a chance that we could have our referral by next Christmas. That means right now, somewhere half way around the world a woman is pregnant with my son.
Except it's her son right now.
Our son.

I don't know the circumstances that could surround his conception, his gestation, his birth or ultimately his delivery to an orphanage. Whether his family can not care for him by inability or lack of desire, I do not know. In fact, it does not matter to me.
I already love him and I love his biological mother for what she is doing.

My God is a sovereign God and I don't think we are his second choice for this child. I think before our son's conception, God knew this child would be our child. He is at work in his biological mother as much as He is at work in me, and I am in awe of that thought. Everything is happening in His time, according to His plan. I can't force this, I can't wish or pray any part of it to happen more quickly. What God is doing there is infinitely more important than the wait I am enduring here.

I read something a while back that just echoes with me when I think about the biological mother in our adoption process.

Once there were two women,
who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
the other you call Mother.
Two different lives
shaped to make yours one.
One became your guiding star,
the other became your sun.
The first gave you life,
the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love,
the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality,
the other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent,
the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions,
the other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
the other dried your tears.
One gave you up.
It was all she could do.
The other prayed for a child,
and God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me through your tears,
the age-old question through the years:
Heredity or Environment -
which are you the product of?
Neither my darling, neither,
just two different kinds of love.

I know that once we receive our referral and know more of our son's story, I will grieve for him and for her- his biological mother. In fact, I think I already do when I think about her (which is on a daily basis). Does she know right now that she can not keep her baby? Has she already made that decision? Every time I think of her, I am driven to pray for her.
When given the time to really think about the chain of events that takes place from conception to the final gavel tap finalizing an adoption, it's mind blowing. It's also awesomely powerful and convinces me time and time again that miracles happen in this world. This journey is not made by accidents; it is formed by divine intervention, and those miraculous actions take time.
I suppose it's all of those things that make this waiting seem easy.

-Sarah