I obviously suck at blogging....

Gah! September was my last post- really?
We were officially dossier to country in September just in time for Brett's birthday. Having a monthly number update is only mildly exciting, considering the "list" doesn't always move by the same number of places each time. There could be 1 referral or 10 in a month... so it's all arbitrary. (Yes- we have obviously done the math 100 times with "if there are XX referrals on average every month we could have ours by XX date!) We are being overly optimistic when we say that we hope to have a referral in hand by Christmas....2013. :)  I can't help but think about Earl Nightingale's quote:

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway."

So I guess we wait for the time to pass! As we prepare for Christmas we have been doing a lot of reading about the Ethiopian celebration of Christmas- Ganna- held on January 7th. Typically there is fasting on the day before, followed by an early morning Church service and a meal of wat (stew) and injera (flat bread). I'm thinking I need to find a recipe and attempt my own wat & injera... I would love to have that tradition in our house as well! They also have a big celebration on January 19th for the commemoration of the baptism of Christ. I can't wait to learn more about these celebrations and host some of our own in the years to come!

How does your family prepare for Christmas? 

USCIS Approval

Today we received USCIS approval in the mail... This isn't any kind of major hurdle, but a very necessary one. Having all the correct legal paperwork in place to allow us back into the USA after our second trip to Ethiopia is sure handy! ;)

Probably the most exciting thing is that my best friend from childhood is expecting her first child this March! (It's been a hard secret to keep too!) I know that she & her husband will be amazing parents and I can't help but wonder.... Will we have children about the same age? Isn't that every girls dream- to raise a child at the same time as her best friend? We have been told repeatedly that we should expect 12 month wait for our referral- and realistically it could take longer than that- but every time we get a new approval of something, an e-mail from our agency, or even just read news from Ethiopia (or stalk Addis Ababa on Google Maps, right honey?) we just grow in excitement. Although my second child may not be exactly the same age- I'm still very excited to see our families growing at the same time!

Because someone asked earlier and I hadn't gotten around to posting again (let alone answering questions)- the agency in Texas we are using is called "Children of All Nations". It's all a bit complicated when you cross international borders, but essentially there are only so many approved agencies that are allowed to facilitate adoptions from Ethiopia- So CAN handles the end of things in America but they work with another agency called West Sands. West Sands is responsible for the Ethiopian end of things- and the bottom line is that West Sands is the official agency that is helping us to adopt. Clear as mud, right?

We have also been asked quite a bit "Why Ethiopia?" and although I've touched on it a bit before in previous posts, it comes down to a few basic things. First, we knew we felt called to adopt from Africa.  Of all the African countries that allow married couples under the age of 30 with biological children (yes- you can be too young to adopt by some countries standards!)- we did some serious research on each program left. The end point is that Ethiopia has a very stable adoption framework and they have a genuine concern for their infants/children in the system. It also helped that we KNOW people who have adopted from Ethiopia. Having the ability to e-mail and chat with other families and friends of families really helped seal the deal, so to speak.

The last question I've been asked recently is in regards to our timing in sharing our news- Did we share our adoption news early? Yup! Have you ever asked a 4 year old to keep a secret? :) When our social worker had to interview Madigan for the home study, we knew she needed to be clued in. The social worker asked completely age appropriate questions- but Madigan was prepared to answer when she was asked about adoption, how she felt about being a big sister, and how prepared she was to wait longer than most sisters have to wait. (PS- to Gwen, the social worker who was tasked with "interviewing" our daughter--or did she interview you? I'm still not sure--... God bless you. That is all I have to say!!)

Have I missed anything in this synopsis? :) Feel free to ask!

Paperwork: Complete

After mailing off our USCIS I-600A (Application for advance processing of orphan petition if you're not 'hip' on the adoption lingo...)  we are done with the majority of our paperwork. There will be a few more things to send in at the request of the federal government, and maybe a few papers and things to exchange with our agency in Texas, but for the most part ladies & gentlemen.... This process is out of our hands!!
I have been researching several different organizations that give adoption scholarships and adoption grants, and I think now that our home study is complete I will apply for a few of them. As I have said before (and will say many more times on this journey) I fully believe in my heart that this adoption is God's plan for our family. It doesn't mean that we have everything figured out, that we will be perfect parents, or that it will even go seamlessly and beautifully.
Our social worker at the agency in Texas has been great about communicating with us and updating us on the process. Right now, it sounds like once our "Dossier" is translated and sent to Ethiopia, the wait time to get our referral is about 9 months on average. (Our dossier is currently being translated right now.) I have to laugh when I tell people that and they say "but that is SO long to wait!" because to us, it seems SO close. We 'waited' for Madigan for 2 years. We've been holding this adoption in our hearts for years, and actively 'working' on it for 6 months. So if we have a referral in hand a year from now, it actually feels quick to us!

In June (for Father's Day!) we joined The Mocha Club. The premise is for $7 a month (the cost of giving up 2 coffee's a month) you can donate to humanitarian efforts in Africa. Our team (Bring Home Hille, naturally!) has dedicated our donation to building clean water wells in Ethiopia. If you're interested in joining our team & donating to the great causes as well, you can check out this link { http://themochaclub.org/joinme/BringHomeHille } or leave your e-mail and I can send you an invite.
You can also go to themochaclub.org to read up on all their work and their mission.

Blessings!

Community

I have to say I've been overwhelmed by the support we have received since we shared the news that we were adopting.
I have had several people in the community e-mail, facebook message me, or stop me to talk to me in person about it. We definitely feel supported.
Right now we have gathered the final paperwork and it's being reviewed by our agency for approval. When we get the thumbs-up from them the official notarized, signed-in-blue-ink, duplicate copies will be sent to them for the great wait.
To be clear and answer a few questions we have had- we have not been matched with a child. That is what we are 'waiting' for- it's called a 'referral'.
We are required to take two trips to Ethiopia. The last update we received from our agency guesstimated the wait between first and second travel to be 3+ months at this point. It's all speculation until it's our turn to board the plane, really.
There are a lot of unknowns, but don't ever be afraid to ask us a question or drop us a line to support us. We are excited and we would love to talk about it- really!
Just in case you didn't see the link to the pictures, you can see them HERE. We love them...

I would love to know what anyone would like to hear about at this point... unfortunately there may be a lot of 'long pauses' to fill because the adoption process is 90% waiting and 10% action. :)

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

:)

Welcome!

My guess is if you've landed HERE today for the first time, it's because we have finally went public with our big news in the most fun way I can imagine- pictures!!

I met our photographer- Carissa at Heart & Seoul Photography- a few months prior to our application submission. We met in an online forum for photographers, and quickly became friends. I have always loved doing 'announcement' photography- announcing a pregnancy, a baby's gender, or an engagement- and I mentioned that I would love to do a session to 'announce' our adoption to the world when we were ready. It was divine intervention that she had planned a trip that took her directly through our hometown in April! As an adoptive mom herself, she has been very aware of the process & the emotion that goes into the adoption and captured our news in a way that I can only describe as perfect. Seeing the images just makes my heart happy- I have no other way to describe it.

She was there for the moment we told Madigan she would be a big sister. I love those pictures! We are so blessed to have already met so many supporting and loving people along the way.

If you want to know more about the back story, you can keep scrolling down the page and read up. The cliff's note's version of this adoption is that we have always felt like adoption is 'right' for our family, and we took the first big step in January 2012 by applying to Children of All Nations (CAN). We found an amazing social worker to write our home study, and one million, bazillion notarized forms later, we are almost completely done with our paper-chase and will soon be moving on to the hardest part yet: waiting. We are so excited at the prospect of bringing home an Ethiopian son to join our family! The process can take up to 2 years (or more!) and we are committed to this for the long haul. So dig in with us, and check back for updates. Leave us some love & support & words of encouragement. Say a prayer or two for us along the way.

Happy Mother's Day!

Coffee For a Cause!

I wanted to let my coffee drinking friends know about a great opportunity to help us out. 

It's called "Just Love Coffee Roasters" and they are fair trade, organic coffee bean roasters who partner with adoptive families and non-profit organizations to help raise money for fantastic causes!

If you would like to purchase coffee beans direct from the roaster with a portion of the sale going directly to our adoption costs, then this is the link you'll want to use:

www.justlovecoffee.com/bringhomehille

You can click on the "Shop & Support" button to purchase beans and directly help our cause! (Obviously we recommend the Ethiopian coffee!) :)

Also, it seems that the invites I sent have 'expired' for some people...? So if you can read this will you leave a comment of some kind? Thanks!

Next Step: Endless Paperwork!

Well, we're moving on to the part that actually requires something of us: paperwork!

We have both had physicals, TB skin tests, and fingerprints. These are just the first few steps to even get our home study under way. We're happy to be working with Catholic Family Charities out of Hays and we're ready to get our papers together for the great 'wait'.

After our home study is completed, it along with several other clearances and forms will be made into a dossier (I feel totally 'Carmen SanDiego' saying that!) The dossier is then translated by our adoption agency and sent to Ethiopia. Then comes the hardest part: waiting until someone there picks up our information and matches us with a child. Honestly the paperwork part right now gives me something to 'do'. I'll probably be less great at the unknown waiting. We'll need lots of prayers, folks! :)

Speaking of prayers there are few things you can keep in yours, if you're the praying type. We are obviously praying this process goes smoothly and that our family is made at the right time in God's way. But it's even harder for me to know that somewhere out there, a biological birth mother is having a child that she isn't able to keep. I pray every day for the woman who is or will be carrying my child, and I hope that you do too.

We really do appreciate all the support. Feel free to ask any questions you have, I would love to know what everyone wants to hear at this point! :)

From Here.... to where?

I guess I don't really know what people even want to know about at this point? 

A few questions I've been asked lately:

"When will you go 'public' with this adoption?" 

      We are thinking May. We're obviously excited about it, but it's going to be a very long road. Our main concern with the telling everyone is for Madigan's sake. She is going to be a big sister! This is something that she asks for at least twice a week- so she's going to be floored! But right now, it would be very hard for her to wrap her head around. We're still cautiously working out the right things to tell her. I want to read some books and educate myself on how to talk to a child about adoption. I'm not the kind to sugar coat stuff- and she's not the kind of kid to ease up on a tough question. She's going to hear the truth about it, and we want her to know it's OK to ask questions- any questions.  We feel that besides our family and close friends, she deserves to be one of the first people to know about it. However... You can't expect a 3 year old to keep a secret. So we need to be sensitive about telling her- and knowing that she'll likely tell the first 300 people she comes into contact with after that. So we are asking that our family not discuss the adoption in front of her. We are hoping that by May we'll have the majority of our paperwork in order and be ready to share our journey with the community.

"How did you choose Ethiopia?" 

     There's not really a simple answer there. We researched several countries, and when we had our top three choices we looked into agencies that have programs there. After speaking with workers at a couple agencies about their programs we realized that Ethiopia is fairly stable, it's a safe country, and we feel that we could learn a lot about the culture of that country and incorporate it in our daily life once the child is home. I know before we really 'chose' a country I said a lot of prayers asking God to guide me and help me see which country He wanted us to choose. I'm not really sure when it hit me, but I realized one day that God has a heart for every orphan. HE wasn't going to choose for us but He will surely guide our hearts along the way. 

"Do you get any say in the age or sex of the child?"

Yes. When we filled out our contract we were allowed to specify our desires. It's very humbling to put down on paper what your wishes are for a child. We weren't given that opportunity when we got pregnant four years ago. As my too-big-for-her-britches daughter says "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." However we did have desires- and so we really took time to reflect on what we were wanting and why. We requested a male infant 12 months or younger without major medical problems. 

We are excited about the opportunity to raise a boy... a son. It still seems surreal to say that, actually. It probably will for a while!

At any time along this journey, feel free to post questions in the comments section. I am always an open book, but I'm not sure what everyone wants to know at this point? Feel free to leave comments too- we really do appreciate all the support we can get along the way!

Welcome...

If you're reading this- it's because you got an invite from me to follow along in our journey.

Here we are at the very beginning of the actual adoption, but I feel like the back story deserves to be told.
I have known that I wanted to adopt for about as long as I can remember. As I'm always willing to share, we didn't have an easy time conceiving our daughter and adoption was in my thoughts constantly. It has been in my heart since then, too. I remember a video clip of me at the hospital in labor where I rub my belly & I say to the camera "this is the most pregnant I'll ever be!" It seems at even 37 weeks + 5 days, contractions bearing down and birth at hand I was aware that one pregnancy was my only pregnancy.
In short, I have always believed that our daughter Madigan is proof that God listens to my prayers; our next child will be proof that we listened to God.
I completely believe that I needed to resolve any feelings I had about my infertility before we are able to whole heartedly proceed with an adoption. That is why this post is primarily about the infertility that lead us to adoption.
We stopped preventing any pregnancy when our daughter turned one. Just before her third birthday I had additional testing done to reveal that I have premature ovarian failure. Although we had talked about adopting our second child then possibly pursuing treatments again if we felt we wanted a third child, we were very bluntly told that if we wanted another genetic child, we needed to try now. So we did- trips to Wichita to a specialist- several pills, shots, tests, tears and prayers. Unsuccessful. Then entire time, I knew in my heart where I was being led.
I believe in God. I believe in his plan for his children. I don't think that he would create me with a desire to parent children, and the ability to give birth to only one.  We had reached the end of our emotional & physical ropes by Thanksgiving and stopped the treatments.
I have resolved my feelings towards my own infertility: God has given us a beautiful child who calls me mommy. I don't deserve her, but I thank God every day for her. I won the lottery with that child and if I never get the chance to parent another child again, I want her to know that without a doubt, with all of my heart she is enough for me, for us. She made us parents; she made us a family.
If I am going to be fully honest (and lets face it- has anyone here known me to never be completely honest?) I have to say that I knew we would adopt before we started the treatments. I know my body, and I knew they wouldn't work. I also knew that my husband had to come to terms with that thought in his own way on his own time. I prayed a lot over the last few months, and it was always the same prayer: "God, ready his heart for this. Plant the seed, and I'll water the hell out of it..." (I think that maybe my prayers are not of the typical variety...?) :) I vowed to myself not to push the issue, and before Christmas he was not just talking about adoption- he was excited about it. We prayed hard, researched the heck out of countries and programs- and then we took the plunge: the application. We turned our application into our agency on January 27th, 2012 and were officially accepted into the program February 2nd.
We have designated our file to be prepared to adopt from Ethiopia. This weekend we are sorting through the 18 page contract from our agency, and filling out the form that designates the specifics about the child that we want to bring home. There are so, so many steps left. There are tears to be shed, joys to be shared, and needs to be met. We would love for you to follow along- offer support, lend an ear, and celebrate along with us.... Will you join us on this journey?